


Event Horizon

by suchanadorer



Series: Indistinguishable From Magic [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexual Lucifer, Asexuality, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchanadorer/pseuds/suchanadorer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>the point at which the gravitational pull becomes so great as to make escape impossible.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Sam and Dean's talk about relationships, Sam finds the courage to ask something of Lucifer. It doesn't go quite the way either of them expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Event Horizon

It's late when Sam and Lucifer finally stumble bleary-eyed into what has become their bedroom. With no apparent leads on Michael, Metatron, or any of the other angels, movie night had all but become movie morning as Dean and Sam explained why someone would put a horse's head in someone else's bed, and then later why Niagara Falls would be a viable terrorist target.

Lucifer had been fascinated. It was one thing to be aware of humans, their cultures and customs, and another thing entirely to listen while Sam talked about it. He had infinite patience for Castiel’s unexpected questions, and he was animated when he spoke, using his hands and face to convey so much more than the words he was speaking. 

Watching Sam had proved more interesting than the last movie, so Lucifer had spent the better part of the past two hours settled in beside him on the couch, cataloguing the different colors in Sam’s hair, memorizing the way his jaw moved when he swallowed, and following the sweep of his eyelashes every time he blinked. 

Sam pads barefoot into the bathroom while Lucifer starts undressing. He's methodical, folding his jeans and pairing his socks before putting them into the laundry bag balanced precariously in the corner of the room. Everyone, angel and human alike, takes turns with cleaning when they are home in the bunker. Lucifer enjoys doing the laundry. He likes the order of it, separation of clothing by color, and in some cases even by what temperature he’s supposed to use when he washes things. He'd spent so long in the grocery store choosing fabric softener that Sam had eventually had to lead him away, but he was pleased with his choice. It was fresh without being cloying and overpowering like some of them had been.

He likes taking care of his clothes. Sam helped choose them, and Lucifer remembers that every morning when he puts them on. Sam had looked at these things, and thought of him, and it makes him smile as he plays with the hem of his t-shirt.

Sam comes back out of the bathroom looking slightly more awake, his hairline and the neck of his t-shirt darkened by water. He smiles at Lucifer before stripping the t-shirt off over his head and coming to join him in the middle of the room.

"No horse's head," Lucifer says lightly, pointing towards the narrow bed. "I checked."

Sam's laugh is little more than a breath with intentions, and it catches Lucifer off guard. Sam is looking down at him, and there's a question in his eyes. Sam had been quiet all night, talking mostly to Dean and Castiel, but always keeping himself close to Lucifer. It had been warm and comfortable, and Lucifer had enjoyed it, but now Sam was guarded and uncertain, standing just loosely enough to show that he’s making an effort not to stiffen.

"What?" Lucifer asks, a weight settling on his chest. Sam had mentioned talking to his brother earlier, and while he’d said it was a good conversation, he wouldn’t tell Lucifer any details, but it had been clear that it was on his and Dean’s minds all evening.

Sam blinks and looks away. “Nothing.”

"Sam," Lucifer tries again, reaching out to grab Sam's wrist. “Please."

This time Sam's laugh is sharp and nervous, and Lucifer can smell toothpaste on his breath.

"I, umm." He pushes a hand back through his hair and shifts his weight, and Lucifer waits. "I want to ask you something."

“Anything you want, Sam.” 

For a fleeting moment Lucifer is reminded of another conversation in another bedroom, other requests made, long before any of this happened. Sam had been nervous then, too. Afraid of his own weakness, afraid of fate and destiny, and of Lucifer. 

Sam looks at Lucifer for a moment, and the tightness in his jaw and the corners of his eyes softens to something more like hope.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers. “Would that be okay?”

Lucifer closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath. Anticipation and a sense of foreboding battle inside him for a moment, but it is a lost cause. He can deny Sam nothing, even if he is concerned about the direction this will take.

"You've wanted to do this for a while, haven't you?" Lucifer asks.

Sam nods shyly.

“Of course, Sam. Yes.”

Sam’s smile in that moment is brilliant, and when he leans down and presses his lips softly to the corner of Lucifer’s mouth, Lucifer thinks that this will be worth it.

Lucifer turns his head to meet Sam’s mouth. Sam's lips are soft and damp, still cool from the water he'd used when he brushed his teeth. This close he smells like clean clothes and the faint scent of his aftershave still lingering from this morning. He watches Lucifer, green-brown eyes obscured by long, dark lashes, and Lucifer watches him back, waiting for any hesitation or regret on Sam’s part.

But it doesn’t come. Instead, Sam's fingers curl into Lucifer's hair along the side of his neck, and his other arm circles Lucifer's waist to pull him closer. Sam is not that much taller than he is, but Lucifer is surrounded. Everywhere he looks and feels, there is only Sam, his skin, his body and his scent, and Lucifer gives himself over to it.

When Sam's tongue licks at his lower lip, Lucifer opens his mouth obediently, letting Sam deepen the kiss, tilting his head to one side to fit their mouths together. There is a disagreement and a bumping of noses when they both try to go in the same direction. Sam grins against his mouth, and when he chuckles Lucifer feels it in his chest.

Lucifer feels his own chill reflected back into his skin when he breathes against Sam’s cheek. He is warmer now, warmer for each passing day, but inside he is still frozen and always will be.

Lucifer lifts his hands and places them on Sam's chest, feeling his heart beating and the way his breath quickens. He kisses Lucifer like a starving man, and for a moment Lucifer is unsure how to continue, amazed at the raw attraction Sam is exhibiting. From anyone else it would be unseemly and base, but from Sam it's staggering in its effect on Lucifer. He gasps in a deep breath, wrapping his own arms around Sam's body to press them together.

Sam is aroused, and when Lucifer draws them together Sam shifts his hips, pressing his erection against Lucifer's body. Lucifer feels Sam's moan in his own throat more than he hears it, but then Sam is stopping, pulling away and stepping back, a look of horror on his face.

"I didn't– I mean, I. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have–"

"Sam, what?" Lucifer takes a step forward towards him, but Sam backs away, holding his hands out in front of him.

"This was stupid of me, and I'm sorry.” He speaks quickly, glancing at Lucifer only to look away in shame again. “I lost control. I didn't think. I should've known that you wouldn't want... this."

He makes a weak gesture between them before covering his face with his hand and rubbing at his eyes.

"What is it that you think I don't want?" Lucifer asks. He suspects he already knows the answer.

"Me."

Lucifer tilts his head and sighs softly. "There are few things in this universe that I want more than I want you."

"But you're not..." Again with the gesture, this time somewhere around their hips, and now Lucifer understands, and it was exactly as he’d feared.

Lucifer shakes his head, but he speaks with affection. "No, I'm not aroused, and I won't be, either. Sex is not something that interests me, at least not for my own sake." It’s an explanation that just skirts the border of an apology. Lucifer does not regret the way he looks at sex, but he does regret that it hurts Sam.

Sam sighs and looks down at the floor, his hands on his hips and his hair hanging in his face. "I should've figured. I'm sorry. I can sleep somewhere else tonight if you want."

He turns to go but Lucifer raises a hand to stop him. "No, not at all. I want you here."

Lucifer moves towards him again, catching Sam's hand before he can move away.

"Sex holds no interest for me. It's something lesser creatures engage in."

Sam's mouth goes white when he presses his lips together, and his eyes are dark when he looks at Lucifer again.

"I won't apologize,” Lucifer says. “Humans are less than angels, and I can't change that. I can't just become interested in having sex with you, no matter how much I love you."

The words come easily for him, but he can see and feel the effect they have. Sam opens his mouth to reply only to close it again, but this time when he shakes his head, there’s fondness there, mixed with the incredulity Sam is so quick to display when someone shows him kindness. 

That Sam should be surprised by a declaration of love makes Lucifer want to tear the world in two, but he will settle for getting Sam to stay with him. Lucifer will not let him abandon this moment, and he will use it to help Sam see how important he still is and will always be to him.

"That doesn't mean that your pleasure and happiness aren't priorities for me,” Lucifer continues. “I want to make you happy, Sam. I want to see you when you are at your most passionate and joyful."

"I don't think I understand,” Sam replies dumbly. 

Lucifer tries again. "Just because I have no interest in direct involvement doesn't mean that you have to stop yourself. Let me watch you."

Sam swallows hard, and a flush blooms on his face and chest. His eyes search Lucifer's face as if he thinks this is a trick.

"You would want that? Why?"

"Because you're you,” Lucifer answers, wishing that he could make Sam understand how obvious this should be for him. “I love you, and I want you to feel pleasure and ecstasy and all the wonderful things I am told humans feel when they orgasm. I want to see that. Will you show me?"

"I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to," Sam says. His voice is firm, but nervous.

Lucifer chuckles, lowering his eyes before looking up at Sam again. "You couldn't if you tried."

Sam’s shoulders slouch when he realizes that Lucifer is right, and he shuffles his feet on the rug. Lucifer catches his other wrist and pulls Sam to meet him, until they’re so close that they’re breathing each other’s air.

“I realize it’s a very loaded phrase, me asking you to make a deal,” Lucifer starts. Sam tries to pull his hands away but Lucifer doesn’t budge. “I promise not to do anything I don’t want to do with you, if you promise to kiss me again and not stop unless I tell you to.”

“You’re not gonna let me go until you get what you want, are you?”

There was a time when the thought of that would have terrified Sam, but now there’s a warm curl of amusement in his voice that makes something light up inside Lucifer.

“What we both want.”

Lucifer leads Sam’s hands to the small of his back before releasing them. Sam relents, pulling Lucifer into a tight embrace. Lucifer can feel Sam’s breath in his hair and his heartbeat where their chests are pressed together.

He turns his head and kisses the side of Sam’s neck. His pulse is stronger here, and it quickens under Lucifer’s lips.

“Are you sure?” Sam asks again.

“Sam,” Lucifer says, his voice filled with warmth, but also finality, “this is me, saying yes.”

There is a palpable shift under Sam’s skin when he finally understands. He strokes his thumb over Lucifer's cheek and starts again, still slow and gentle, giving Lucifer every opportunity to stop them, but he doesn't. He won’t. Lucifer parts his lips this time, showing Sam that he wants this, and Sam deepens the kiss again.

Sam moves his hand down Lucifer's face and neck, trailing his fingers over the t-shirt covering his chest before wrapping his arm around Lucifer's body and pulling him close again. His hesitation melts away until he’s kissing Lucifer as if he could breathe him in and survive on him alone. Lucifer would let him.

"You were destined to be my vessel," Lucifer explains between kisses. "I have loved you for eternity, wanted you for just as long. But I never imagined that we would be together like this."

Sam nods, stripping off Lucifer’s t-shirt as Lucifer guides them towards the bed.

"I want to make you happy. I want to be with you, touch you, caress and hold you and take care of you, but none of that is sex. Sex doesn't interest me, but connecting with you does.”

Lucifer leans in close, their chests touching with each rise and fall of Sam's breath. 

“Show me how," Lucifer asks. He feels Sam pull in a sharp breath, feels the way his fingers tighten on Lucifer’s skin.

Color rises on Sam’s cheeks when Lucifer sinks down onto the bed, letting his hands rest on the waistband of Sam’s sweatpants.

Sam’s hands cover Lucifer’s, and Sam’s eyes never leave Lucifer’s face as he pushes his pants down off his hips and steps out of them. Lucifer sweeps a hand beside where he's sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah," Sam answers, giving a short, nervous laugh before stretching out on top of the blankets. “Okay.”

He's too tall for the bed, so he draws his knees up, spreading his legs and propping his head up on the pillow so that he can see Lucifer's face.

Lucifer's hand comes to rest on Sam's ankle, and he rubs circles on the soft skin on the inside of his ankle with the pad of his thumb. 

Sam makes a thin sound in the back of his throat and gives Lucifer a startled look.

"It's okay, Sam," he says.

Lucifer strokes his hand up the back of Sam's calf, leaning down to kiss his knee. He keeps eye contact with Sam the whole time, and even in the dim half-light of the room he sees Sam's eyes darken.

"Don't let me interrupt," Lucifer purrs, his eyes flitting down to where Sam's hand is lying low on his belly.

Sam gives a quick smile when Lucifer lifts his eyes to look at his face again. He holds Sam's gaze as Sam moves his hand down his body to where his dick is half-hard between his legs.

Lucifer slides his hand back down Sam's leg to his ankle, never breaking contact. Sam strokes himself almost experimentally, running his own hand over the inside of his thigh and dipping his fingers into the coarse hair of his groin, all while staring back into Lucifer's eyes.

"So beautiful," Lucifer murmurs, and he can feel Sam's pulse quicken under his skin, sees the blush that spreads out over his skin and the way his erection swells under his hand. "I never knew you'd be so beautiful."

Sam rocks his hips slightly, one hand on his chest while the other runs along the inside of his thighs, down to cup his balls, then up to his belly again. Lucifer holds his gaze, watching as Sam's control starts to falter.

"You are perfect. Strong and handsome, with a fire inside you." Sam's mouth falls open and he pulls in a deep breath, blowing it out again through his nose as he wraps his hand around his dick and strokes, hips rolling to match the motion.

Lucifer moves forward on the bed so that Sam's foot is resting between his legs. He has one hand wrapped around the back of Sam's calf, the other on the inside of his thigh.

"I have loved you for so long, Sam. I have wanted you from the moment of my creation. I never wanted anyone else the way I wanted you."

Sam squeezes his eyes shut and lets his head drop back against the pillows with a sigh.

"You are powerful, magnificent, and there is no one like you on Earth. There never has been and there never will be. You were created for me, and you know it," Lucifer whispers.

"I do," Sam moans. "I'm yours."

"And I will never hurt you. I will only ever take care of you. I love you."

Something like a sob comes from Sam's throat. The hand that was idly caressing his chest moves to the bedspread beside him. He pats at the bedding and looks at Lucifer questioningly.

"What do you need, Sam. Tell me."

“Lay down next to me,” Sam pants.

Lucifer stretches out beside Sam on the bed. He drinks in the sight of Sam, tense and aroused. There are lines on his forehead and a shimmer of sweat at his hairline. His chest heaves as he tries to steady his breathing, and he rolls first his eyes, then his head to the side to watch Lucifer as Lucifer watches him.

He is a living sculpture, a study in everything that it is to be human. His body is strong and graceful, well-maintained, but like this it is an instrument of pleasure for the mind, everything his hands do sending signals to his brain to bring him closer to ecstasy. But even with all that strength he is still capable of being undone, indeed he is taking himself apart with his own hands, driven by nothing more than Lucifer's presence and his voice still whispering words in his ear.

On any other human being it would have been a vulgar display, but watching Sam, Lucifer is mesmerized, his only desire to continue to be allowed to play a role in this performance. Pleasure and arousal fill Sam so completely that he seems to glow with it, and Lucifer knows that that is because of him, and it is an incredible feeling.

His own body does not respond in kind, but he can't ignore his constant curiosity about Sam. Even now he wants to know more.

Lucifer rests his hand low on Sam's belly. Sam twitches and shivers at the unexpected contact.

"Sam," he whispers, his lips brushing at the hair covering Sam's ear. "Let me touch you. Take my hand."

Sam whimpers, swallowing hard. He furrows his brow and looks at Lucifer again.

"I thought you didn't–"

"I want to feel you," Lucifer answers. 

Sam groans, letting his head fall back onto the pillows again. His hand finds Lucifer's and he guides him, dragging their fingers down his body, through the damp thicket of hair to the base of his erection.

Sam's hips jump when Lucifer's hand closes around his dick.

"Show me how," Lucifer requests, but Sam just gives a breathy laugh.

"Just... just touch me, if you want to. It doesn't matter how. Please, touch me."

Lucifer's hand is still for a moment. He opens his fingers again, spreading them in the hair on Sam's groin. He brushes his fingertips down over Sam's balls and his own breath hitches at the impatient sound Sam makes when he strokes the sensitive skin between Sam's legs.

He caresses the inside of Sam's thigh and the soft crease where his leg meets his hip. He sweeps his thumb along the line formed by bone and muscle there, and Sam giggles, a weak sound high in his throat.

Lucifer does it again, and Sam's face screws up with laughter. He squirms under the touch.

"That tickles, Lucifer."

"I love your laugh. I wanted to hear it again."

It's not an apology, but Lucifer moves on. His fingertips are light on the warm, soft skin of Sam's erection. Sam sucks in a breath when Lucifer trails a finger through the shining wet at the tip.

"Oh, fuck," he pants, and Lucifer smiles.

Sam's eyes open wide and he turns sharply. "I thought you didn't want–"

"Ssssh," Lucifer purrs. "This isn't for me. I want to do this for you."

Sam's hand finds its way to the back of Lucifer's neck and he pulls him down for another kiss. It's warm and wet and messy, and Sam groans into Lucifer's mouth when Lucifer takes him more firmly in his hand. Their teeth bump together, but there is no sign of hesitation from Lucifer as he kisses Sam urgently, his eagerness and curiosity making him bold as he explores Sam's mouth with his tongue.

Sam’s hand covers Lucifer’s, showing him how to stroke, how to stay still while Sam thrusts desperately up into their grip.

“Please, please,” Sam growls through clenched teeth. He squeezes his eyes shut and presses his head back against the pillow, his hips lifting up off the bed. The muscles in his legs and stomach tense.

“I’m here, Sam,” Lucifer tells him. “Look at me.”

Sam does. His eyes bulge and his mouth opens wide in an expression that looks like panic, but then he comes. The panic turns to elation in an instant, his grin manic before it relaxes, before all of him relaxes. He sinks back down onto the bed and his head rests more gently on the pillow now. His chest still heaves, but with more control, and he looks up at Lucifer with a blissful gaze.

His thrusts lessen, then stop entirely. Lucifer’s hand is a warm, sticky mess, and when Sam realizes it his smile fades.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I–”

But Lucifer just shakes his head. “It’s you. Don’t worry about it.”

For a moment all Lucifer can do is stare. Sam is glorious.

His eyes trail over every inch of Sam that he can see, from the lazy flexing of his toes, up the length of his legs, following the curves of muscle and skin to his groin, to the rise and fall of his stomach under his own hand as he breathes. Sweat shines on his chest, on his tattoo and in the dip of his collarbone. His other arm is flung above his head, and his hair is fanned out on the pillow. His smile is a flash of white. When Lucifer finally meets his gaze again, Sam grins and looks away, but he is shining.

“You should go clean up,” Sam says quietly. Lucifer follows the bob of his Adam’s apple before nodding and twisting to stand.

The faucet in the bathroom squeaks when he turns it on, and the water is too cold at first, though he barely notices. He looks at his reflection, takes in the startled look on his face, the sweat that’s formed at his own hairline.

He is still not aroused, and still feels no interest in Sam reciprocating, but he is surprised at how much he enjoyed this. He’s more familiar with his face now and the way it shows emotion, but he doesn’t need to look into his own eyes to know that he is pleased and relieved. After an eternity of condemnation for accusations of selfishness, he’s found a true connection with someone, on their own terms, satisfying both of them.

Sam is lying on his side on the bed when Lucifer comes out again. He’s pulled the blanket up over his legs and hips. 

When he sees Lucifer he starts to speak. “About what you said earlier, I just–”

"It's okay," Lucifer says softly as he crosses the room.

Sam lifts up the blanket and Lucifer climbs into bed, pressing his back against Sam’s chest and pulling the blankets up around them. He turns his head to look back over his shoulder where Sam’s eyes meet his in the darkness.

"I've had lots of experience loving you. I've been doing it for a very long time. It's easier for me to say it."

Sam smiles and leans over, kissing him again. This time it’s a quick peck, already something familiar and simple between them. 

Lucifer burrows down into the blankets and relaxes against Sam. They stay wrapped up together as Sam fades off to sleep. Lucifer stays awake until dawn, listening to Sam’s breathing, feeling his heartbeat, and reveling in the warmth of his embrace.


End file.
